Elon Musk is bad

This article is my submission for the pulitzer prize

Elon Musk is bad. He does bad things and is bad. One time he did bad things and that was all the time. His companies all fail because he is bad, and even if they don’t, they should because he is bad and thus his companies are bad and are failing due to him being bad. Any good thing his companies do are due to employees who don’t like Elon Musk (because they are good unlike Elon Musk who is bad).

Elon Musk said he is not voting democrat anymore and therefore he is bad. But even if he says things that democrats also say, those things are wrong now, because Elon Musk said it, and he is bad. If a democrat says those things it’s good and right, though, but if Elon says it, then it’s bad again, because Elon Musk is bad.

Elon Musk doesn’t pay 500% of his money to taxes so he is bad. Everyone who is bad should pay all their money to taxes and also more money than exists to taxes because otherwise they are bad, like Elon Musk, who is bad.

I am good because I have the same beliefs as things that are highly upvoted on reddit so I shouldn’t pay very much taxes. But Elon should pay a lot of taxes because he is bad and stuff saying he is bad is highly upvoted on reddit so it’s obviously true. He also could solve world hunger easily but doesn’t because he is bad because spending what the government spends in a few days would solve world hunger. But it’s Elon Musk’s fault because he is bad.

The only reason Elon is rich is because his dad owned every single emerald mine in existence and also owns the sun and not because Tesla is 9th most valuable company in the world. Therefore he is a phony because he wouldn’t be rich without his dad and his dad’s emerald mines and we would all be as rich and successful as Elon Musk if our dads owned every single emerald mine and also the sun.

Please give me a pulitzer prize for this article. It is a good article, unlike Elon Musk, who is bad. Thank you.